You Must Have a Happy New Year, and Other Unsolicited Advice

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You Must Have a Happy New Year, and Other Unsolicited Advice

The official time has arrived – to reflect, review, re-ponder and beat ourselves into the ground about the past year. Often we focus more on what went wrong, what we did wrong, than what went really well for us and because of us. When I say we, I mean me, of course. At least that’s what I’ve done for as long as I care to remember. Unfortunately I do this every day, but I’m trying to be better. Really.

I do not want to come off all preachy, but what better time of year to bestow advice onto people whether they want it or not? Here goes.

As 2014 draws to a close, I am aware that I have things to work on, just like last year, and most likely just like next year and every other year I live on this planet. My emotional maturity needs to expand and evolve; I need to get better at confrontation and emotional regulation so that I can get through those awkward moments that leave me sleepless at night with worry, or in perpetual replay in my OCD brain, saying ‘Why did I do that? Why did I let that happen? Why didn’t I fill in the blank?’

I’m also aware of what I want to accomplish. I want to do well at my new job and make real contributions to the new team. I want to eliminate the drama from my life, and learn to be a better mother, daughter, wife, sister and friend. It would be awful nice if book 2 finally got drafted in 2015. And there’s a little matter of weight, which has been on my To Do list for almost 50 years. I’ve gotten close at times, and at others just moved so far away from having a healthy body that I didn’t even recognize myself.

This year I hope to keep it simple. No I don’t mean throwing out everything I haven’t used in a year, although that’s an awesome idea for someday. I’m not going to live in a thatched hut and eat nuts and berries while crafting the Great American Novel of the 21st century. Lonely and way too much in terms of dietary fiber for this old gut.

I’m letting go of the extreme expectations I have for myself that I try to use as a means of controlling my less than positive behaviors. After many years of trying to plan out my perfect life only to fall short on day 2 and give up, I believe the best course for me is to take it slow. Plan each day once it gets here instead of planning weeks and months of my life that just aren’t going to happen. For example, many is the time that I’ve started a new diet, for example, and forecasted how long it would take me to lose the desired amount of weight, to the week, and the day sometimes, only to fall off the wagon and abandon all plans and all goals to get healthy. Or I’ve put together an impossible to keep writing schedule over three months, only to miss the first scheduled time period out of sheer procrastination and obsession with keeping structured.

Structure is awesome; it keeps me focused and moving in some kind of direction, and decreases those feelings of total overwhelming chaos that I fight more and more as I age. But structure for structure’s sake is a sure way to kill creativity and motivation. Working to make the plan work just doesn’t work.

I recently came across a newsletter from a self help guy out there that many of you may be familiar with, Dr. Wayne Dyer. He is world renowned for his practice of positive affirmations, practicing selflessness, and internal introspection.   He has had a profound effect on my life through his Power of Intention series, which helped me stop being so negative and start being open all kinds of possibilities. I admire his method of effectively communicating complex spiritual and reflective concepts so that they are understandable and tangible to people like me. This week’s topic in Wayne’s Weekly Wisdom: For 2015, Let’s Live in the Now. This is something that anxious and obsessive people like me are very bad at. We are always worrying about the dangers of the future, steaming about the mistakes of the past, and left in a state of static limbo and inaction. I’m not that horrible these days, but there was a time in my life when I could not enjoy the present moment and was always anticipating the next move. Job-wise, family-wise, everything-wise.

This is my preachy advice and wish for all of you – live in the moment. The moment is all that we can control, it’s all that we can influence. We certainly reflect on the past, but it doesn’t exist. We possess the power to remove past negative remnants and feelings from our day to day lives. You can prepare for the future versus not sitting on your bum waiting for things to come to you, but you don’t have to sacrifice being engaged in the present moments of life. That is my hope for me, and for anyone else that sometimes feels lost, or failing, or unable to get his or her arms around the huge complexities and changes which life constantly provides. Not an easy thing to do, especially letting go of the pain and disappointment of the past. But it can become a good healthy habit that you do have control over.

Check all of this out for yourself if you like: http://www.hayhouse.com/newsletters/signup

With this link you can enter the Hay House Newsletter page and subscribe to Dr. Dyer, or any number of other Hay House authors who provide positive, reflective advice to those who choose to use it.

Have a wonderful, safe and satisfying 2015. Amen.

 

Proud to be a Member -come to the Expo!

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Proud to be a Member -come to the Expo!

http://www.providencejournal.com/features/entertainment/books/20141102-expo-a-place-for-r.i.-authors-to-showcase-their-work.ece

Fantastic article in the Sunday ProJo. Steven and Dawn Porter are dedicated, talented artists and promoters. I’m not always a big “joiner” but I have great respect for the Porters and their efforts to bring Rhode Island authors together. I find most authors understand that there is “some for everyone” and freely support each other even as we struggle to support our own writing, as one local reader for one author will definitely benefit another as we promote the extensive and varied local talent in Rhode Island.

Come visit next Saturday if you’re nearby. You will be sure to find some unique treasures for yourself and to give as gifts. I speak from experience as I always find something special and have given local books to friends and family with very satisfying results.

Interview with Mike Squatrino from Association of Rhode Island Authors

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Read Mike’s blog to see his interview with me to promote the ARIA Book Expo on November 8th – that’s next Saturday! He has been doing a fantastic job promoting the event and the authors. Check out his Overlordsfantasy series too!</http://theoverlords.blogspot.com

10 Great Quotations from Oscar Wilde

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pattytmitchell:

Meant to sent this to you all yesterday. So while the birthday wishes are belated the words are without age. Enjoy!

Originally posted on Interesting Literature:

Oscar Wilde was born on this day in 1854, so we’ve looked through the literary library here at Interesting Literature to bring you our ten favourite Wildean one-liners!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – ‘The Remarkable Rocket’

The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame. – The Picture of Dorian Gray

To be really medieval one should have no body. To be really modern one should have no soul. To be really Greek one should have no clothes. – ‘A Few Maxims for the Instruction of the Over-Educated’

Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do. – ‘The Remarkable Rocket’

The final mystery is oneself. When one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped…

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Vikki Corliss and Leigh Brown – A Great Writing Team from Rhode Island

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Check out some more RI authors that will be participating in the ARIA Expo on November 8th.

http://theoverlords.blogspot.com/2014/10/aria-expo-blog-tour-leigh-brown.html

I haven’t met Leigh yet but I really got a great impression of Vikki – as an artist and a person. Going to start reading Second Chances this weekend. Can’t wait!

The Uthah Muthas

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Julia frantically brushed the pine needles off my car, her arms flailing with an urgency normally reserved for blocking shots on the basketball court. For a moment I thought she was helping me from having a pine needle induced accident on the road.

Mommy’s little helper?

No.

Mommy’s little conformist.

“You need to start parking in the garage Mom,” says my out of breath and exasperated eighth grader. Your car is a mess!”

I have a garage. I actually have 2 garages. I still leave my car out in the driveway sometimes, like last night, when it rained that kind of autumn rain which blows leaves and pine needles off the trees and onto the ground, or anything else left outside.

It’s no distraction to me at all. They cover the windshield and the windows and the moon roof of my little SUV (aka the station wagon of the 21st century). By the time I get to work, the morning breeze and the highway sun will have blown my car dry better than my hair was blown dry before I left the house.

However, that quarter of a mile to school, which she does not have to walk, by the way, is not enough time to remove the tell tale signs from the night before — an un-garaged car.

This shame holds true for more than pine needles – also for frost, ice, snow or anything else Mother Nature dishes out the night before or the morning of.

Again, I am haunted by that no-talent hip hop group – the Uthah Muthas. They are the ‘normal’ parents who do not embarrass their children, but merely stand mutely in the background offering unlimited supplies of money and transportation. Transportation in normal cars, I’ll have you know. Fiends.

“You’re the only one at drop off with pine needles on your car. Everyone else’s car is clean.”

“Really, you notice these things?”

“Yes! I do. You always have ice, or something all over. And you can never even see. Why do you always have to be so weird?!”

Maybe I’m a little off, but I enjoy stepping outside to see what’s been left for me each morning, usually pretty designs made by Jack Frost and his gang start about this time of year. So we have to scrape a little, just enough to see to get her that quarter of a mile, that, as I believe I’ve mentioned, she does not have to walk, down the road. So what if there are a few coppery needles decorating my dark brown car? I enjoy fall colors.

I like to Park at the top of the driveway each night, because each night the beagle, the only one truly happy to see me, comes running out, and she can’t reach the garage to greet me, jump all over me, and yelp like she’s trying to get me to the Old Mill to save Timmy. And she’s kind of afraid of the garage door anyway. I do it for the beagle.

Maybe there are better mothers out there. But even though I’m not the best mother, I’ll never EVER be one of the Uthah Muthas.

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More Great ARIA Authors to Meet – Martha Reynolds, Hannah Goodman and Adam Wasserman!

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Those of you who regularly tune in know that yesterday I had the pleasure of spending time with many ARIA authors.  In all honesty I have to tell you all how impressive both the work and the character of the people has been so far.  As a writer it’s comforting to have such a supportive network; as I reader I am learning so much about what our local authors have to offer.

So, for your reading pleasure, here are three more authors to learn about.  Show them your support, especially you Rhode Islanders out there!  Many thanks – and feel free to comment here about the any of the authors I’ve posted this past week.

http://theoverlords.blogspot.com/2014/10/aria-expo-blog-tour-martha-reynolds.html

http://theoverlords.blogspot.com/2014/10/aria-expo-blog-tour-hannah-goodman.html

http://theoverlords.blogspot.com/2014/10/aria-expo-blog-tour-adam-wasserman.html