I heard this song both pulling into work this morning and as soon as I turned the key to leave the parking lot; therefore, it must be a cosmic message.

I have never been a huge Molly Hatchet fan, but I always liked this song for some reason.  It sounds fun and wacky and almost scary that’s the kind of music you like when you’re a kid.  But these lyrics speak more to me now than when I was young and reckless (not btw).

There have been some tough days lately, lots of big thoughts flowing around in my brain. Decisions to make about where I am, where I’m going as a writer and a person.

I’m travelin’ down the road and I’m flirtin’ with disaster
I’ve got the pedal to the floor and my life is running faster
I’m outta money outta hope it looks like self destruction
Well how much more can we take with all of this corruption

We’re flirtin’ with disaster, ya’ll know what I mean
And the way we run our lives it makes no sense to me
I don’t know about yourself or what you wanna to be, yeah
When we gamble with our time we choose our destiny

I’m travelin’ down that lonesome road.
Feel like I’m draggin a heavy load.
Yet I’ve tried to turn my head away,
Feel about the same most every day

Things aren’t really terrible, but I’m flirtin’ with it, I think.  Disaster seems ever-present, right under your toes and there to catch you if you slip up.  The key is of course – don’t slip up.  But how does one avoid slipping and falling?

I’m not quite sure, but I believe it has a lot to do with being true to yourself, not compromising yourself, but at the same time being collaborative, engaged  and open to the thoughts and feelings of others.  Opening the door and facing life, not running away in Candy Crush land, like I’ve been doing for the past few weeks.  Sure it’s relaxing, but it’s an avoidance tool as well, turning my brain into, yes, syrupy goo that is incapable of making decisions and even worse, writing anything down.

I’m on a lot of teams – my family team, my marriage team, my work team and my friend team.  I have some really good writing teams too.  I have people to hold me up, and I have people who I need to hold. Being present, addressing problems without whipping myself into a frenzy, and facing the decisions with a cool head and an open heart is all I can do.  Nothing is truly terrible if you’re honest.

I am hoping for a little less Molly on the radio in tomorrow.  Perhaps a little Bruno?