Social Anxiety Be Gone!

anxietyWhen I first took the plunge and decided to publish A Girl from the Hill, I never considered the next logical step – selling A Girl from the Hill. I was clueless about the feelings that come from creating something, sweating and crying and laughing and agonizing over this baby of mine, only to then try to convince the rest of the world that it’s worth their time – and money.  Holy crap, I said to myself then and still say now. This marketing stuff is not easy.

I am not sure what I expected, for though I’m expressive, I’m just pathetic at networking, small talk, and walking up to people and asking them if they’d like to read my book. No, I’m the person who will sit with a million boxes of books printed and ready to sell in her living room, calmly waiting for the crowds to arrive. My ninety-year-old mother is a better salesperson than I am. “Didja know there’s a book about me?” she crows to anyone who will listen. And they listen.

So I’ve been trying to sell my book, and having all kinds of interesting adventures in the process. The best part of the selling process, besides making money, is, and I never thought I’d say this, meeting people. Not only meeting people, but talking to people. About me. And my book. And a whole bunch of other things that are important to us. Yes us. I am learning to become engaged, and hopefully, engaging.

You see, I often dread the thought of new places with new people. Even familiar places with familiar people. Call it social anxiety because that’s exactly what it is.  It isn’t apparent to people I work with, and I enjoy leading teams and projects successfully

Tonight, though, I wanted to take a moment to mention how incredibly fun it has been so far to talk to new people about writing and books, especially my book, these past eighteen months. Really, it’s been great therapy to share part of my life with others and not feel responsible for their happiness at the same time. Maybe they like me and my work, maybe they don’t. But I will not pass out and die if they don’t approve of me. Who knew?

The other aspect of this whole marketing thing that I’m grateful for is the writer friends I have made along the way. Whether it’s my blog buddies who write great stuff and urge me on when I blog, or the writers from ARIA or  ASTAL who share their work and their advice with me, and whose work provides me with the inspiration I need to keep writing even if it’s for 5 minutes a day.

So thank you all, who I’ve met so far on this journey, who write, read, share, and who have helped me grow as a person and a writer. Looking forward to next weekend at the Scituate Art Festival, when I’ll get another opportunity to reach out and find some more reasons to feel grateful and inspired.

It’s not Really Spam When They Show How Much They Really Care … Is it?




Remember me?

I almost forgot about all of you.  Not in a bad way.  It’s just that I’ve been mentally pre-occupied since February.

Preoccupied with thoughts.  Too many thoughts, like, how could my job be eliminated after 8 years of loyal service.  And how could people I trusted not even fond enough to say goodbye.  And then about how silly all those thoughts were because it really doesn’t matter.  But it does.

It’s taken me way more time to move on than I thought, but I feel like I’m almost there.  Sure, your brain says all that Stuart Smalley stuff, I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.  Blah Blah Blah.

So I wallowed, at first knowingly, then without realizing it, the highlight of my day became getting my daily bingo credits (more in 23:59:58).  The house wasn’t getting any cleaner, I wasn’t getting any thinner, and no writing was getting done.  Did I mention that a literary agent looked at 40 pages of mine and reacted like I was wasting her time?  Yes I paid her.  And she had some valid points.  But I didn’t see them.  All I saw was Stuart Smalley in his cardigan mouthing the word:  LOSER.

This is what happens when OCD folks like me get rejected.  When we make a huge emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual commitment and get crickets, or worse, not even crickets.  We dwell.  And dwell, and yes, dwell some more.  We lose our confidence, our trust in our own ability to thrive.  But the clouds are clearing, really.  So no worries gang, but it’s been a long, strange trip.

Thank goodness for the spammers. Just look at all these heartfelt messages from total strangers trying to sell something.  It was an absolute pleasure clearing all of these messages out of my blog’s spam folder.  Because I got to read all of this great positive feedback!  Of course there was a lot of talk about male erectile dysfunction and girls girls girls who want to get – well you know what.  Can’t help  you there Sis.  Let me share a few non-pornographic tidbits with you – I’m sure you’ll agree …

“It has not been decided yet who exactly will bbuy Hulu, and what
 the uture of this American TV watching site will be.”

Such valuable information a b bout the uture.

I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yoursAwww, shucks.

Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot.
I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.   Heya, who said I had no purpose?

Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog site in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it
has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
 Other then that, great blog!   Thank God, some people care about my overlapping

And these pearls from best touch kitchen faucet

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video
 to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking
about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could
be giving us something informative to read?

Well put, best touch kitchen faucet!

I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet viewers, its really really nice article on building up new web site.

Thank you thank you michael kors outlet online

Apparently many dear folks working in the plumbing industry who follow me:

Like – San Diego Water Damage Repair

Thanks , I have recently been searching for information approximately this
 topic for ages and yours is the best I have came upon so far.
However, what about the conclusion? Are you sure in regards to the source?

But let’s not leave out the British carpentering entrepreneurial geniuses out there:

craftman scroll saw commented

Excellent site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics
 discussed here? I’d really like to be a part of community
 where I can get feed-back from other experienced people that share the same interest.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Oh there’s a place for you somewhere… delete forever.


Finding My Creative State of Mind


Trudy has found her niche

Trudy has found her niche

Happy 2014.  I’m happy here blogging after a long absence.

I did it to myself.  I gave myself little to no time to write, post, or read over the past six months. Why eliminate my passion, what I enjoy most in life? What about Pound Cake? Will my next book ever get written?  Sadly, where I once used research and reading and writing and staying in tune with all of my blog buddies for relaxation, I recently discovered the addictive false high of Candy Crush, Bingo Blitz and reality TV, and have indulged at every and any idle moment.   

Writing is not like exactly like riding a bike.  You never forget how to use language, but the less you read, write, participate in discussions, the more you have to ramp up to get back in the groove.  As you can see, I’m trying to ramp up now.  I proclaimed creative progress as my goal all week; and now, on Friday, I struggle to run my wobbly bald tires up the wooden plank to take a high jump.  Before it’s too late.

Continue reading

I Shall Return

A few minutes after the finish line, and I'm still alive!!

A few minutes after the finish line, and I’m still alive!!

I know, I know.  I have not posted a darn thing of interest all month.  But things have been a little more hectic than usual between all the bases being covered.  But two great things to report

1 – I started seriously writing my next book, which will be YA/Middle Grade with a working title of ‘Don’t Call Me Poundcake.”  More details this weekend.  I am very ready to start this new writing adventure and can’t wait to share it with you all.

2 – I finished my first 5K Race this past July 3rd at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro Massachusetts, home of the New England Patriots, and now, me.  I almost croaked in the pounding 90 degree heat as we ran around the stadium, up every ramp and then down every ramp in the darn thing, but I made it, thanks to these 49-year-old legs and tons of support from all of my friends and family.  Here is a survival pick of Jeremy and me after the race.

Love to All and I will be catching up with my blog posting and reading this weekend.

2012 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Thank you everyone who has visited, commented and guest blogged (you know who you are) during the past six months. While I’m a little surprised that most people coming here were in search of squid, I’m still giddily grateful for all of the reads and hope to provide you with even more to look at and comment on in 2013.  Happiness is the path so keep climbing!

I’m Baaaaaccckkkk…

The leaves are already turning here in Rhode Island

I feel like a poltergeist these days, drifting in and out of several places at once.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything. Between Jeremy and I being handyman- impaired and having to paint my daughter’s bedroom before school gets too far underway, to getting her (and us) ready for Junior High, to all the other things that I have been neglecting that needed some focus and a little less divided attention, the days just flew.

So apparently summer has just sort of picked up its clothes and gotten out of here, although the damp humidity we’re experiencing here in Rhode Island today makes me wonder if its having second thoughts. But the leaves are already turning. Continue reading