The Tortoise Steps Forward

turtle-177661_960_720First post of 2017, and 2017 is nearly more than a quarter gone. Geez. Where have I been?

Book two is coming along slowly, a little too slowly for my liking, but I try each day to make progress, even if it’s just thinking about my story, my characters, the little world I am creating. I miss them when I’m away from them too long.

I find myself in a constant struggle to organize my time to suit my priorities. I have a day job, a husband, a sixteen year old, two aging parents and house and a beagle that all need some level of attention from me on a daily basis. Not to mention all of my friends whom I wish I could see more of, or my own body and spirit, that are not getting the best care I can give at all. I overwhelm myself with the intensity that I want to put behind each aspect of my life, and usually end up getting much less accomplished than I feel acceptable.

And while I continually feel angst that I’m missing something wonderful every day that I don’t spend writing, I observe my author friends and acquaintances moving on with their writing careers which causes me, on bad days, to feel left out. Almost jealous, that they have made writing their priority versus all the other things that complicate life. They labor and bear the fruit while I get angry at myself for being afraid to take the leap and re-prioritize my own life, fearing that I’ll lose some artificial sense of security.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I also know that I can be a bit impatient at times. Most times. And a tad impulsive. I realize that life, over time, becomes a balancing act, a waiting game, and comes down to discernment between what can move you forward and what can bring you down. I don’t feel really great about my ability to follow this mindset, though, and do all that “make the journey into the destination” stuff. I’m always TRYING to do something – trying to write my book, trying to get healthy, trying to lose weight, trying to organize my house, trying to meet my work deadlines before they’re due.

My new practice: taking small steps, every day, no matter how microscopic, in the direction I’d like to travel, instead of planning giant leaps to immediate success (or failure).

That’s all I wanted to say really, and in doing so I have taken a tiny step. Please feel free to share your experiences, cheer me on, or tell me about a better way. I’m going to stop trying to put out infernos and just keep going, slow, but steady.

Elvis Radio

IThe Comeback’ve been listening to a lot of Elvis lately.  The all Elvis satellite radio station blares in my car most mornings, much to Julia’s dismay.  After dropping her off I often indulge more in Elvis the religion, the god.  I get pumped listening to Suspicious Minds, I listen to the testimonials of people touched by The King, whether a lei or a lay, that play in between medly’s, live performances from Vegas, and interviews with this soft-spoken, sweet humble sounding man with a cute, giggly laugh. 

 Sure, he’s a little before my time.  When I was growing up he started growing into that big white rhinestone studded jumpsuit on his ever-expanding pelvis.  Except for that 1968 special when he wore that black leather outfit.  http://www.allmusic.com/album/nbc-tv-special-68-comeback-mw0000654106.  I remember that jumpsuit to this day because he looked so damn hot.  But I feel like need to pay tribute to The King, to make up for lost time.  Especially now that getting ready for work each morning feels more and more like I’m slipping into my own too tight jumpsuit and cape.  But since I never made a get to, I am not exactly sure how to make a come back.

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