The Tortoise Steps Forward

turtle-177661_960_720First post of 2017, and 2017 is nearly more than a quarter gone. Geez. Where have I been?

Book two is coming along slowly, a little too slowly for my liking, but I try each day to make progress, even if it’s just thinking about my story, my characters, the little world I am creating. I miss them when I’m away from them too long.

I find myself in a constant struggle to organize my time to suit my priorities. I have a day job, a husband, a sixteen year old, two aging parents and house and a beagle that all need some level of attention from me on a daily basis. Not to mention all of my friends whom I wish I could see more of, or my own body and spirit, that are not getting the best care I can give at all. I overwhelm myself with the intensity that I want to put behind each aspect of my life, and usually end up getting much less accomplished than I feel acceptable.

And while I continually feel angst that I’m missing something wonderful every day that I don’t spend writing, I observe my author friends and acquaintances moving on with their writing careers which causes me, on bad days, to feel left out. Almost jealous, that they have made writing their priority versus all the other things that complicate life. They labor and bear the fruit while I get angry at myself for being afraid to take the leap and re-prioritize my own life, fearing that I’ll lose some artificial sense of security.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I also know that I can be a bit impatient at times. Most times. And a tad impulsive. I realize that life, over time, becomes a balancing act, a waiting game, and comes down to discernment between what can move you forward and what can bring you down. I don’t feel really great about my ability to follow this mindset, though, and do all that “make the journey into the destination” stuff. I’m always TRYING to do something – trying to write my book, trying to get healthy, trying to lose weight, trying to organize my house, trying to meet my work deadlines before they’re due.

My new practice: taking small steps, every day, no matter how microscopic, in the direction I’d like to travel, instead of planning giant leaps to immediate success (or failure).

That’s all I wanted to say really, and in doing so I have taken a tiny step. Please feel free to share your experiences, cheer me on, or tell me about a better way. I’m going to stop trying to put out infernos and just keep going, slow, but steady.

8 thoughts on “The Tortoise Steps Forward

  1. Patty, I could have written this myself.
    Even though I don’t write books, but rather reflection and memoir, writing is still part of my very, very, very busy life. I’ve learned that re-prioritizing is an ongoing, almost daily, I won’t say struggle, but journey.
    There are so many demands upon everyone in our society. I often ache for a simpler time, a simpler life. But each day I start anew and do the best I can. And try not to wallow in guilt.
    Good luck and bless you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great article pat! I am thinking to myself, we’re always telling the kids to take a breath yet it seems so difficult to do so ourselves. Take a breath, you’re doing great, thanks for sharing

    Like

  3. Patty, I don’t write every day. I want to, but….life. There are priorities and self-care and sleeping! I’ve recently started to take a couple of hours away from the house (too many distractions, and my needy little dog!), head to a coffee shop or the beach, and I always bring a notebook. I can jot words and thoughts or write for an hour if I’m so inspired. Pen and paper might not be your preference, but alone time, even just a little, might help.

    Either way, no worries! I’m glad you’re back to blogging ❤❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

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