The Tortoise Steps Forward

turtle-177661_960_720First post of 2017, and 2017 is nearly more than a quarter gone. Geez. Where have I been?

Book two is coming along slowly, a little too slowly for my liking, but I try each day to make progress, even if it’s just thinking about my story, my characters, the little world I am creating. I miss them when I’m away from them too long.

I find myself in a constant struggle to organize my time to suit my priorities. I have a day job, a husband, a sixteen year old, two aging parents and house and a beagle that all need some level of attention from me on a daily basis. Not to mention all of my friends whom I wish I could see more of, or my own body and spirit, that are not getting the best care I can give at all. I overwhelm myself with the intensity that I want to put behind each aspect of my life, and usually end up getting much less accomplished than I feel acceptable.

And while I continually feel angst that I’m missing something wonderful every day that I don’t spend writing, I observe my author friends and acquaintances moving on with their writing careers which causes me, on bad days, to feel left out. Almost jealous, that they have made writing their priority versus all the other things that complicate life. They labor and bear the fruit while I get angry at myself for being afraid to take the leap and re-prioritize my own life, fearing that I’ll lose some artificial sense of security.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I also know that I can be a bit impatient at times. Most times. And a tad impulsive. I realize that life, over time, becomes a balancing act, a waiting game, and comes down to discernment between what can move you forward and what can bring you down. I don’t feel really great about my ability to follow this mindset, though, and do all that “make the journey into the destination” stuff. I’m always TRYING to do something – trying to write my book, trying to get healthy, trying to lose weight, trying to organize my house, trying to meet my work deadlines before they’re due.

My new practice: taking small steps, every day, no matter how microscopic, in the direction I’d like to travel, instead of planning giant leaps to immediate success (or failure).

That’s all I wanted to say really, and in doing so I have taken a tiny step. Please feel free to share your experiences, cheer me on, or tell me about a better way. I’m going to stop trying to put out infernos and just keep going, slow, but steady.

I Heart Harry – Chapin

Harry Chapin at Veterans Memorial Auditorium

Harry Chapin at Veterans Memorial Auditorium (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy 2013, Everyone –

So far things are going well in my world. I finished editing the manuscript for A Girl From the Hill, and I’m putting some final touches on it. I’ve gotten help from some great people and am feeling very grateful.

So why the frown? Not really a frown, just a little melancholy and reflective. On the way to work this morning, I had my favorite satellite 70s station on and Harry Chapin‘s Taxi came on. I haven’t heard this song in years. It always moved me. First as a girl growing up in the 70’s and not even understanding the story, but loving something about it anyway. Maybe his voice, how it changed throughout, or that hauntingly high singing during the bridge. I always wondered if it was a man or woman, and then I saw Chapin perform this song on television one night. A shaggy guy with thick spectacles and an angelic soprano crooned the most haunting lyrics I’ve ever heard. It freaked me out as an eight year old, and still does a little today as I watch this same performance on YouTube 40 years later.

Harry Chapin was an amazing story-teller whose life ended way too early. I felt compelled to look up the lyrics today and read them. His words create such vivid images, both ordinary and fantastic.

Continue reading