It’s not Really Spam When They Show How Much They Really Care … Is it?




Remember me?

I almost forgot about all of you.  Not in a bad way.  It’s just that I’ve been mentally pre-occupied since February.

Preoccupied with thoughts.  Too many thoughts, like, how could my job be eliminated after 8 years of loyal service.  And how could people I trusted not even fond enough to say goodbye.  And then about how silly all those thoughts were because it really doesn’t matter.  But it does.

It’s taken me way more time to move on than I thought, but I feel like I’m almost there.  Sure, your brain says all that Stuart Smalley stuff, I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.  Blah Blah Blah.

So I wallowed, at first knowingly, then without realizing it, the highlight of my day became getting my daily bingo credits (more in 23:59:58).  The house wasn’t getting any cleaner, I wasn’t getting any thinner, and no writing was getting done.  Did I mention that a literary agent looked at 40 pages of mine and reacted like I was wasting her time?  Yes I paid her.  And she had some valid points.  But I didn’t see them.  All I saw was Stuart Smalley in his cardigan mouthing the word:  LOSER.

This is what happens when OCD folks like me get rejected.  When we make a huge emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual commitment and get crickets, or worse, not even crickets.  We dwell.  And dwell, and yes, dwell some more.  We lose our confidence, our trust in our own ability to thrive.  But the clouds are clearing, really.  So no worries gang, but it’s been a long, strange trip.

Thank goodness for the spammers. Just look at all these heartfelt messages from total strangers trying to sell something.  It was an absolute pleasure clearing all of these messages out of my blog’s spam folder.  Because I got to read all of this great positive feedback!  Of course there was a lot of talk about male erectile dysfunction and girls girls girls who want to get – well you know what.  Can’t help  you there Sis.  Let me share a few non-pornographic tidbits with you – I’m sure you’ll agree …

“It has not been decided yet who exactly will bbuy Hulu, and what
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Such valuable information a b bout the uture.

I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yoursAwww, shucks.

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I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.   Heya, who said I had no purpose?

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Oh there’s a place for you somewhere… delete forever.


Life is What Happens…

John Lennon's quote in a Nepalese Bookstore, &...

John Lennon’s quote in a Nepalese Bookstore, “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.” Boudha, Kathmandu, Nepal (Photo credit: Wonderlane)

Wow, it’s been too too long. Happy week after Easter everyone. As I gear up and put the last edits on ‘A Girl From the Hill, I wanted to send a message out to anyone who is still tuning in – I haven’t forgotten you, so please don’t forget me!The book is in its final stages and will most likely go to publication in late May/early June if all goes well. I have found that the editing process takes forever, and I’m constantly finding things I did wrong and/or want to change. Between tonight and tomorrow I draw the line and just get this suckah out there. Editing OCD is not fun.  But I feel like I’m pushing a baby out of the birth canal, and trying to make every push and pant count.  This from a woman who has only given birth via C-Section.  Perhaps this is why it doesn’t come easily to me?

I have also been spending lot of time with my parents these past few weeks. My mother fell in February and dislocated her shoulder. Thankfully that was the extent of her injuries, except for a very bruised leg. She is amazingly strong and heals so well. It’s been hard for the Crow to clip her wings these past weeks, but she never gives up. I know where my daughter inherits her strength from.

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