My Relationship with Food? It’s complicated

As some of you know, I’ve been doing some extreme, medically supervised dieting since late summer. I’ve lost a good amount of weight and my blood pressure and cholesterol levels have dropped to very healthy levels. I’ve been exercising more without dreading it and have been pretty happy overall.

I decided that I would eat moderately during November and December due to the holidays and not wanting to “miss out.” Well it’s January now, so I’m getting ready to go back to more extreme dieting. I’ve learned a few things these past few months that I decided to share. Telling helps me feel accountable and sometimes finding that other people share similar experiences makes me feel less isolated. And who knows? Maybe I could provide support to someone else.

My three overall discoveries –

1 – I’m not ready to fly solo yet. From the beginning of November till now I’ve gained back about 7 pounds. Most likely a lot of fluid and the majority of it will be pissed away over the next week. But that’s almost a pound a week. At first I was sticking to mostly plant based choices and minimizing processed food and all was good. But then I started eating very unvegan Christmas cookies. Thumb prints and sugar cookies and all kinds of rich yummy stuff that are so easy to devour. And devour I did. No holds barred. So I need to figure out why that happened so I don’t do it again. Which leads to my next discovery.

2 – I need to eliminate added sugar from my diet. In order to conquer the binging beast within me the added sugar has to go. Sugar is worse than heroin. It lights up the pleasure centers in the brain and is highly addictive. And it’s also added to almost everything. From bread to yogurt to pretty much any processed food you can think of. The exceptions are out there, but you have to pretty much scour every label to find them. Plant based foods don’t have added sugar and they’re extremely satisfying once you get off the junk sugar. And food companies just add sugar to get us addicted. And get our kids addicted. So we all can fall passively into sugar comas.

3 – I’m pretty certain I missed literally nothing by adding sugar back into my diet. And butter and all kinds of dairy. I would have been much better off with plant based real food. All I did was get all jacked up on crap. Which means that I must once again detox- cold turkey means a week of headaches seemingly insatiable hunger and feeling weak.

The food that most of us are eating without thinking is slowly killing us. Me. Killing me. Mindfulness is one of my resolutions for the new year and beyond. I’m hoping to use this forum to share my experiences as I detox and return to losing the remaining weight required to achieve my goal of healthiness in body, mind and spirit. It’s going to be a miserable journey at times, but one I need to take for my own sanity. All done with yo-yo’s and seesaws. And the self medicating with pasta and cookies.

Food is at the center of it all for me. I wish it wasn’t and it doesn’t seem fair sometimes. But the realization that the food industry is a cruel and greedy enabler is helping me stay motivated. That and sharing my accountability here. I’d love to hear what others think and are willing to share.

Ring out the old, ring in the new.