Watching way too much retro TV this weekend when I should be reading and writing. But last week’s long relentless stress from all angles, to the point that I felt like a baby harbor seal dodging clubs, left me with no alternative than to veg out and regress back to the days when everything was normal. Normal ish.I almost felt bad for Eddy Haskell today. Everyone knows he’s a phony. Ward knows. Barbara Billingsly knows. Heck, Wally even knows. But he stands by his best friend. Puzzling perhaps, and perhaps someone could write, or has already written a doctorate thesis on The Eddy Haskell Syndrome and the Wally’s Who Love Them. So I won’t do that here. You’re welcome.
I almost felt bad for Eddy because he thinks the only way he can get attention is by making others look bad. Like the Beav, who Wally loves like a good brother should, telling him when he is acting like a creep versus sticking up for him against his best friend-bully. I almost felt bad for Eddy because he feels like he must act like, well, Eddie Haskell. He knows that he is merely tolerated at best. But he’s too proud to admit his failings and appear normalish. The facade is too important, and really holds a life of its own, leaving poor Eddy as an empty shell. Eddy the Narcissist is another thesis out there waiting to be written.
No I’m not high. I sound like it though don’t I? I just find it interesting Continue reading →
3/4 front view of a female snapping turtle (Chelydra serpentina), taken near the St. Lawrence River in northern New York state. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sometimes, worry can totally consumes the Crow. She doesn’t get out of the house much these days, and with all the rain she can’t even sit on her deck and soak up some sun. That just amplifies her stress levels. Today she was worried about a change in my Dad’s meds. I had all the info, but in addition to calling me about the changes, the doctor’s office also called her. This is a mistake, because my mother often gets confused and is so worried about potentially getting the instructions wrong, that she invariably will. So she wanted to call me to confirm what she thought she hear about my dad’s potassium dosage.
Except with the Crow, if she calls you and you don’t answer, she just doesn’t leave a message. She keeps calling you until you pick up the phone. It doesn’t matter if it’s important or not. If she wants the answer she will not relent. So she didn’t.
Sitting in sort of an important meeting I let her first call go. The second one I began to panic myself: is this an emergency? I always forget about her compulsion to know the answers when I see that number and “Mom and Dad” come up on my phone more than once.
So I snapped at her a bit. “Mom, you can’t keep calling and hanging up when I don’t answer. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” It’s awkward taking calls in a very quiet meeting where my boss is presenting important information that I cannot afford to miss.
She snapped back “I won’t call you at work any more then.” All or Nothing.
I have been saying wow to myself a bit more than usual tonight. Wow for the man who rescued those poor women from a decade of torture, and then refused a reward. Wow to the people out there who are actually criticizing him.
And when I read this post just now Warning: Crazy., about the labels that don’t come with the mentally ill, again, wow. So beautifully written, I just wanted to cry for the author and her brother. We all need to open our eyes a little wider because it mental illness can happen to anyone, to any degree, and none of it is funny for the persons suffering and the people who love them. I’m sure I’ve done my share of ignorant snickering, so I will make every effort to open my eyes and remember to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Some very cool guy said that a few thousand years ago and it’s still the strongest truth I know.
This story hits close to home in many ways. Holding back love and acceptance creates poison. It’s easy to do. But creating negative energy only backfires on its creator. Everyone out there holding a grudge should read this. And think hard about the future and what could be lost.
My brother-in-law called yesterday morning and told me my sister had died. I didn’t even know she was ill. Everyone else did. All her friends, the entire family, her church. Not me. Because she had expressly told them she didn’t want me to be told. They had their chance to visit her in the hospice where she lay dying of cancer. Not me. They begged her to let them tell me. She refused. Why?
Because I am an atheist.
It was her final gesture to me, her final retribution for my lack of belief in her god.
We had been estranged for a long time because I did not…
Debra’s blogpost hits home in so many ways. She is such a wonderful writer, with words that penetrate my heart and soul.
On the surface she blogs about a back injury. Underneath, it’s about living in the moment, even if that moment sucks, in order to break on through to the other side, so to speak.
And it’s about compassion not just for others, but for yourself. Yes YOU. So many of us are so hard on ourselves, and have unattainable expectations for ourselves. Guess what? Sometimes its okay to say I’m afraid, in pain and not in a good place. Sometimes that’s the only way to get out of that place at all. Surrender is, in her words…
…having compassion for myself the same as I would have for anyone else…
Sounds easy, but I know so many people who are suffering right now, and while they are going through bad times are beating themselves and berating themselves. Why does this have to happen to me? What is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? I should have known better. Work/School/Life/Love (pick one) is always going to be miserable for me because of me.
I do it myself.
My wish is for all the people I love to find a way to surrender to the pain, and while living through it remember that they didn’t cause the pain. My prayer is that they move away from the pain and towards happiness.
I love sharing posts about how destructive the ego can be. It’s what separates us from each other, separates us from God, separates us from all the love and positive energy that is ours in this world.
That’s not to say that being unique or an individual or true to yourself is bad. It’s separating yourself from the rest of the world that’s damaging. We all have our own unique talents, personalities, feelings. We are all part of one big beautiful picture with different textures, colors and hues.
Diane’s post is personal but it speaks to everyone.
July 4, 2012 – Small Fireworks (Photo credit: kndynt2099)
The beautifully written post Missed Memoriesmoves me to write something deep from within my heart.
My mother just turned 88 this past July 4th, and like iscribblings said about her grandmother in the post below, we always celebrate my mother’s birthday like it’s a holiday- because, well it is. But that was not the case this year.
This year tension so sharp and so deep can choke you if you get too close. You see, not all of my mother’s children can stand to be in the same room together.
I am not writing about blame, or about who did what to whom, or who can’t cope, or who can get so pissed off as to decide not to be part of this family anymore. The fact is the family is shattered. Continue reading →